SEVERED TIES

When I was a little girl, I would always sidle next to my grandpa and ask him to tell me about his story. His story of coming to a new land, where he wasn't born but he had to live because some people started fighting and they never stopped. He used to always start saying that he did not remember much of it as he was merely 7 years old when he came to India from Bangladesh, and yet when he would talk, I could still see every emotion flit across his face. The fear of going to a new place, the grief at leaving behind everything. He wouldn't have felt the worry his parents were going through, having to think of ways to protect their family from the violence of the war and their confusion over what the future would bring. They were uprooted from their home, their land when they didn't even commit a crime. I still remember how grandpa used to describe their journey to India. the scared masses with their life in bundles around them. And when he finished the story, he always used to tell me,"shona, so many things went wrong then, but what helped us through all of it was that we were all together. never forget the power a family holds in its ties with each other." I'm just trying to summarize what he told me in Bengali and I don't think I've succeeded. Just like I don't think I followed my grandpa's advice to the T.

So let me try again. This time with a quote.

" Such a wonder is family. They can make you Mad or fill you with Glee." 

FAMILY. Sounds like such a simple word, right? But what we see on the surface isn't all of it. Can you count the number of times that we actually forget our family? I can, and it's not a pretty number. I wish it wasn't like that and I wish that I was a better daughter and a better sister and granddaughter. I still remember the nights I had an explosive argument with my mother, and the day I fought with my sister over something as trivial as a pair of shoes or the dress we both knew we liked. I still remember the moments when I was ashamed of the mistakes which disappointed my father and the times when I didn't have enough time to talk to my grandparents who only want to know how I'm doing. 

But, don't they say that better late than never. Then isn't now the perfect time to start? Start clearing up with my mother after we fight, because I still love her fiercely. Start compromising for my sister, because I'm always going to get a new dress, but I only get one younger sister, and I want to cherish her with everything I have. Start calling my grandpa and grandma more and talk to them just like I talk to my friends, because that's all they want to know, they want to know that their baby granddaughter still looks up to them with the same adoration she did when she was 5 years old. Start making up for the trouble I cause my father, because I know that's what he wants me to understand, that I need to own up to my mistakes and try to be better.

It's very easy severing ties, because it never takes a lot of effort on your part. And when your family can see you slipping off, they still don't tell you how much it hurts them that you don't hold a place for them in your heart. They will still let you do what you wish, because they still wish the best for you. But, you can do it all with them behind you. Because believe me, although it is great to have the taste of freedom from your family, you come to understand that the one thing you want more than anything are those ties they tied you with. Because they weren't so they could stop you from taking over the world, they were so you could always lean on them when you were tired and they could see you becoming the best version of yourself.

 Love never come with a price tag, and maybe it's because if it did, we would never be able to pay it, even if we were the richest people on earth.

Families are everything. And so, I have only pride in confessing that I love mine more than anything on this Earth.