Love Me Like You

“Everything starts right now and if it doesn't then leave it - something better is on its way."

Can I ask you a Question? And no, I'm not asking this because I'm going through the same thing. I'm asking this because, sometimes when I can't sleep at night, these keep me up.

Let me start again. Can I ask you a Question?

If you knew, with undisputable certainty, that love was never going to be yours, how would you live your life differently? What about your daily routines would you change? Would you ever change your long term goals?

I'm sure you're saying "No" right now. I'm sure you're thinking that nothing would change in your life. After all, you're a practical and smart person. Your plans will not change because of another person, they don't involve another influence. We all do. But think about it, ponder for some time. Because sometimes we don't want to admit it, but we all use love and commitment as a crutch. The whole idea of a husband and kids and a big house with a white picket fence is stashed behind our practical goals. The idea that there could be someone who would love you for all that you are, flaws and all, is a lovely excuse we feed ourselves all the time. The blabber of two halves making a whole restrains us from becoming our better half. We always want someone to swoop in during our toughest times and save us, but what if we knew that it would never happen? Would we start doing everything different?


Yes, I was full of fairytales. Yes, I was waiting for my Knight in shining armor. I was the helpless damsel in distress and I wanted him to save me and carry me to paradise. I was a naive, an innocent soul in the hapless world. And yes, the world brought me down on my knees, It showed me the truth about people. But then, I met you.

And now, I think I'm in love.

I'm in love with someone I never thought I'd fall for!

I think I may be wrong to hope. Because I still do. I hope we last. I really hope we do. But If we don't, this is how I want you to remember me:
I want you to remember me with you, cuddling up and trying to learn the rhythm of your heartbeat. Remember me laughing at your jokes, even the stupid ones. Remember me panicked for absolutely no reason at all and in tears because one time you made me so scared and sad that I didn't know what to do. Remember me disheveled, and delicate and gentle - only for you though, only for you.


Remember me happy, and all the ridiculous antics I pulled just to get your attention. Remember the way I threw my temper around and how it drove us insane. Remember all the firsts and how they were so delightful that we went back for seconds and thirds and fourths. Remember the songs I introduced you to and how you couldn't stop listening to them. Remember all the dreams you allowed yourself to have. If it's any consolation, I allowed myself to have them too. Because if it comes to it, I don't want you to remember the ending. I want you to remember the day that I told you.

Yes, I think I'm in love.

I'm in love with a person who, I've no idea, loves me or not! 

We always want to fall in love with the person who loves us back. But what if they don't have the same kind of feelings for us? Do we stop loving them? does it end there? talking to him makes me feel like waking up to the most beautiful sunrise I could ever gaze upon. And in the same instant, talking to him feels like being sucked into a vortex of a million different emotions. i want to know more. I want to be with him, sit with him, hold his hand, rest my head on his shoulder and tell him that I've never felt this way about anyone ever before. I want to know more about him. It's all a blur now - a dance of thoughts and breaths and whispers and I swear my heart always skips a beat whenever he calls my name.

And now, I don't remember when I fell for you. I don't remember when this happened and how. Maybe it was the day we talked the entire night about everything. Or maybe it was the first time you kissed me and it was the perfect spring evening that I could hope for but I'm not sure. But you know how I fell in love? Just like that, I guess.

You don't have to love me now. because it's time that I bid you farewell. And though I'm not that person - I hope that you find the soul waiting to collide with yours. I hope she can give you the kind of love you deserve, the kind I was unable to give you. I hope you live all those dreams you spoke so passionately of when our fingers were intertwined in each other’s palms. I hope you don't think of me much, but I hope you know I'm so happy you were my love. I'm so glad I got to spend that time with you and that love, that feeling of absolute euphoria. You will always remain in my memory box, untouched by time or reality or the cruelness of the world. You will always remain my secret.


You will always be a chapter that I will never get tired of reading again and again, not because I can’t get over you but because I have learned so many lessons from you and because I will always love you. They will ask me if I was mad and hurt that you didn’t love me, but my answer will always be,” no, I’m not mad at him.” Instead, I’m thankful. You made me realize that I did not always have to shut myself in. you made me understand that simple things matter to me, that thoughtfulness and insistence was what I really look for. You made me see that I was actually looking to the wrong kind of people and maybe that’s why, things weren’t working out. And I’ll be forever grateful for what you made me be. You will always be a remainder that I have to go through certain chapters to understand and fully appreciate the happy ending of my story. I don’t doubt it anymore. And if ever life decides to make our paths cross again, I hope you see me not just as one of your acquaintances but as the girl who loved you.

I know I'm in love with you. But, I know that you're not in love with me.