The Letter

"The problem with Fairy Tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment"

You thought that I would never write a letter to you, didn't you? I don't know who you are, I'm not sure if I've ever met you. Even if I have, I would hardly think that you know. I never thought that I would be penning these things to you. Rest assured, nothing I write here is a farce. It's all true and will help you in the future to understand who I am, maybe just a little.

I really don't know where to start this. I'm writing this so that I can keep this as a bookmark in one of your books lying in the corner of your desk or the library rack. So that if you feel like leaving me in the middle of nowhere because you can't figure what's bothering me, you can read this and get the way through my heart.

You know I don't expect you to stay. I've never had huge expectations regarding you staying. Because a long time back, life made me realize that nobody was rescuing me from my proverbial tower, nobody would slide on those Cinderella shoes in my feet and no prince charming on a white horse is coming in search of me. I've never wanted it this way.

I've never know how to confess my love to someone. I've tried several times, each time a little different than the other, but none stayed. I've never really said yes to someone and heard them say it back. So yes, I'm a newbie when it comes to relationships but it feels like I've known love since ages. I've never taken this step before. What if I commit blunders every step of the way? Will you still be around? Will you still hold my hand? If you ever start to see doubts cropping up, and your head starts to scream at my dreary state, just go through these articles. But, please, please, stay.

I never really gave a thought about being in a relationship with someone. It's not that I don't love. It's just that my idea of love is different from what you've seen around. My soul is too old to be cool or modern. I don't identify with the whole modern dating thing, I don't want it and I don't like it. I'm not ready to be your 2 am call when you're lonely. I want to be your 2 pm call when you're busy but you still think about me. I've never going to settle for less. You've to get ready to have a permanent box of tissues to wipe my flow of tears every now and then. At times I'll sound like a hopeless romantic and on several occasions I'll kill you with my practicality. There are no midways, I never knew about them. I'll be boring as hell as I won't ask you about your plans everyday or the kind of food you've eaten.

We can go on long walks in silent breezy nights and sit on rooftops talking about stars and galaxies. We can go out with people we love and care about and sit at home with nobody but us. We can go on long rides to some unknown places to explore each other and our surroundings more. We can grow together and become everything the other hoped we would be.

I'll always think about you and how I could make your life better. I'll push off silently to make your path clear. I'll never stop you if I can see that something would only change you for the better, even when I'm not a part of the change. But yes, I will never choose anybody over you. That is all I can promise.

Love,

Your personal mess.